Is there a Dr in the house?

Hi! Well I am feeling much better now, but it has been a rough month health wise for everyone I know! My oldest friend confirmed her diabetes and high sugar levels, my co-worker has a bulging disk, I had my m/c and now my second oldest friend has cancer. My friend with cancer is one month younger than me. Her tumor sounds big and her first cancer dr appt isn't for a month! I am really worried about her. ( It doesn't help that my DP is jealous of her since this friend was my first girlfriend. Ugh, Lesbians are friends after breakups, how did my girl not get that essential memo from dyke headquarters? )
Oh well, I am in a wierd space... trying really hard to remain cheerful and pleasant and upbeat, but I really just want to lay down and stare at the sky and not get up all day. I am 29 years old, all of my friends should not be fighting chronic or life threatening diseases! I really feel like I should DO something to take my friends cancer away, I wish I could lazer it out like superman. I feel helpless.
If our next try works once we can ttc again, I will have to be pregnant for the whole first trimester knowing the entire time that it could end again at any moment. I like the idea of enjoying the present and being happy to be pregnant and having happy memories of that time, but the more I let myself be happy, the longer I will have to fall if I lose it again. I don't know how well I would take it. We were going to use the same donor again, but the another person who used that donor around same time as me also just had a m/c. (hugs to you again!) Now I am freaked wondering if there is a reason we both lost our babies? Do his swimmers have a slight abnormality? I have a vial waiting at my dr's office that I am scared to use, but what can I do? We will probably use a different donor for our next try at least.
So over the next couple months, at the same time I will be trying, once again, to fill my womb with life, my friend will be having surgery to take hers out.