regular not good day

When I was leaving work today a woman I'll call J was in the office. She has been gone for a long time, and is now obviously pregnant. This makes me want to call her names in my head, or pinch her, or something. Before you think this is just me being mean (I'm really not!) , you need to know....J is the same woman who quit her job w/school district becuase the kids in her class were "not cute enough" for her to work with them. WHAT! Sorry, they don't transfer ppl to different classes until you find a class you think is attractive enuf for you to care for. aaaarrrggg. Mind you, I work in a preschool so generally they are all "cute". She also wanted to know where we kept all the little desks and when we would start the days school lessons. ? That was just the start of our dislike for each other. It con't to get worse as she spent her work hours flirting with any man around and leaving the rest of us to do work, but really my main complaint is.....this woman who is in no way maternal and thinks preschoolers are like handbags or fashion accessories, and talks to kids that aren't "cute" enuf for her as if they are scum of the earth w/squinted disgusted eyes, .....this woman is going to have a baby and I am not. I don't get it. Hopefully she has changed since last I knew her. Maybe she is a diff person now.

I really miss my "pregnant" body. I know I wasn't even that far along, but I already had lots of changes in my belly and boobs. I sneezed and had hiccups. I especially miss my boobs! Now I want the big ones back, and I never thought I was a big boob wantin' kind of girl. I miss the happy feeling that I had finally done it, that I would finally have a baby. I just felt different all around and I miss it. The baby would have been due around the time of my Mom and late grandpa's B-Days so I was excited to tell my Mom too. I still haven't told her about the baby and loss there of. { I don't like to talk to her about anything "medical". I had fractured one of my ankles and went home for a visit. When I was here, my Mom took me to the bike path for a walk and took away my crutches since I "didn't need them". She like to say things like "put it in a box and lock it away" "shake it off, you'll be fine", and "unless your arm is broken or falling off you don't need to see a dr". It isn't that she is mean, just so tough herself, that everyone else seems like a wuss, especially me. }

I am getting worried about what the dr will say. He still hasn't called back yet. I want to ttc again as soon as I can, but they want me to wait. If my tube was damaged does that mean I can't IUI anymore?

My friend stood me up again today too. She was going to come over & didn't show up or call. Most of my friends are flakes. I hate that.

I guess I am just not having a very good day today, I better just go to bed and trade this day in for a new one.